It’s a Mad, Mad, World: Batshit Bernie Could Actually Win

Bernie

Imagine the look of horror on the faces of Goldwater, Reagan, Jefferson or Washington if they were to look at this moment in history.

Bernie Sanders, a self-professed socialist, has a reasonable chance at becoming President of United States.

Trailing Hillary Clinton by 263 delegates, Bernie “the Sandstorm” Sanders is picking up momentum as the races head West.

While a second President Clinton would also be a travesty, placing a man who has not held a real career outside of politics and pushes forward socialist principles would be a signal that the people of the United States have jumped the shark.

But is it the voter’s fault?

Ever since Roosevelt’s “New Deal”, the U.S. Government has maintained a Welfare State that has turned into a wealth transfer system whereby the working class and wealthy provide for the needs and wants for those unable or unwilling to work.

Today, one out of five Americans is on government assistance. That means that one out of five voters are happy with kicking back and getting checks and cheese off the labor of the producers of this nation . . . and they want more cheese!

Bernie Sanders is their cheese maker and he is itching to step up production.

With welfare recipients getting subsidized housing, free food, free cell phones and home phones, free Internet and now, free healthcare, Sanders wants to throw in “free” college education.

While it may not resonate with his supporters (as it entails working), Bernie wants to raise the minimum wage to $15 per hour . . . that’s $30,000 per year.

Bernie proposes spending $1 TRILLION on government projects to put 13 million people to work.

The Vermont senator also wants to force employers to pay women the same wages as men – regardless of performance – and provide TWELVE WEEKS of PAID family and medical leave.

How will Bernie fund the establishment of this new luxury life for the poor and lazy? By taxing the crap out of everyone else.

For those Americans who think the nation is beyond repair already, the election of Bernie Sanders may very well serve as the spark to start the next American Revolution.

Thankfully for all of us, that battle will be short and easy as Bernie’s supporters will have a hard enough time putting down that bag of Cheetos while struggling to get off of Grandma’s couch to put up much of a fight.

Twenty tweets per minute won’t stop your ass from getting stomped.

If these millennial kids and liberal welfare children who support Bernie are so offended by “offensive” words and cry for “Safe Zones” imagine the collective pants pissing that will take place when the hard-working American male puts down his tools, grabs his rifle, and marches down the road looking to set things straight.

Go ahead Bernie Sanders. Win. We dare you.