Is Glenn Beck, Ted Cruz’s 6th Mistress?

Glenn Beck has completely given up on being a journalist and has devoted himself to the worship and glory of Ted Cruz. The Internet is ablaze with pictures of Beck getting down on his knees over Easter weekend testifying to the greatness of Ted Cruz, and now we know why.

Today, on his Glenn Beck program, set in a weird “Oval Office” where he generally talks about the greatness of Cruz and the devil in Trump, Beck decided to start the show with what we can only guess is truth.

“It’s been a hard Monday morning, we were all raped by Ted Cruz.”

That’s right, the righteous moral manipulator Glenn Beck, the same guy that told Christians that they were not listening to their God if they supported Donald Trump, went live on air to talk about Ted Cruz raping him. Oh, and also raping his friends.

“Ted was in the room and he had that Cuban fire to him!” There are so many things wrong with this story that it makes Donald Trump look normal.

One of Glenn’s friends and fellow rape victim spoke up. “The other thing is, you can’t rape the willing, and we were all willing. He’s just that magnanimous. That magnetic.

Well it doesn’t look like Glenn and friends will be pressing rape charges against Cruz, but the encounters left the victims out of sync.

Glenn tried to compose himself for the show. “We are going to try to do a show without all the Latin loving.” Visibly flustered. “I need a cigarette.”

“Backed me into the bathroom stall.” Glenn began to tell the story, but this is where we stop quoting this disgusting display of the hypocrisy displayed from the Cruz campaign.

Over and over the Cruz campaign has bashed Trump for not being civil, not being inclusive, and being sexist and rude.

When it comes to people supporting Cruz, Beck has the biggest mouth. He has hundreds of thousands of fans and has used his voice to preach to the world the greatness of Cruz lately.

That greatness must include joking about rape. This might hurt Cruz in the long run and it could hurt Glenn Beck.

Beck is all in for Cruz. He is going to make his bed with Cruz and lay in it if the presidential hopeful doesn’t win. Obviously, that won’t upset Beck too much, because like he said, Ted Cruz just “he has a way.”